My testimony: How I came to know Jesus

I read the bible when I was in junior high but there was no one to help me and guide me. I grew up in a catholic family. I was touched with what Jesus has done for all of us, that He died for our sins. But then because of my obsessive compulsive thoughts about religion, I got depressed. I was thinking awful thoughts and mostly about religion and Jesus Christ. I decided to stop seeking God and that it may not be good for me because I thought that God is punishing me because of my OCD.
When I was already working in a hospital, I fall in loved with my handsome coworker. To cut it short, I got pregnant when my boyfriend stopped working in the hospital. I was worried because he cannot help me with my finances and my family does not approved of him. I was so fearful and stressed all the time.We were not married during that time. The pregnancy was unplanned and to be honest I wished to have a miscarriage. I know it was wrong but there's just so much fear in me. I feared that I may not be able to reach my dreams and plans. I feared for our future because my boyfriend cannot find a descent job and he is just planning to study in college. I will discussed this on my other article. For two years we hid our relationship and sinned sexual immorality. I had a difficult pregnancy. At my 3 months of pregnancy I had a miscarriage. It was very painful emotionally and physically. After a few months my boyfriend and I got separated. I was devastated. I have loved him so much. That was the darkest days of my life. After everything that happened to us he decided to end our relationship because both of us were not happy. We fight almost all the time.

I was thinking suicidal thoughts. I searched the internet on how to kill myself. But then God has planted the seed in my heart to seek Him. I started to watch preaches online from christian churches. After watching I felt relieved from my troubles but after sometime the thoughts in my head grew stronger. I was afraid of what other people would say about me. I'am also depressed for losing my boyfriend. For me he is my husband and also my family because of everything that happened to us. One night I was crying hard and poured out my heart to the Lord. I talked to Him after a long time. Before I woke up next morning I had a dream. I dreamed of a bible verse that I had read a long time ago:

Jeremiah 29: 11
For I know the plans I have for you", declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

I heard this verse in my dream twice and when I woke up I also heard this verse so loud and clear in my ears and in my mind. I ignored it thinking it was just a dream or something. I continued with my day as usual. But then that verse came to me again when I was looking for something to buy online. There was a notebook with that verse and I was astonished. When I was watching on youtube, again that verse was spoken by one the person that I was watching. So I stopped for a while and realized that was God talking to me. Telling me not to waste my life and that He has greater plans. I cried for I forgot that God really cared for me and that He is interested in me. I searched for that verse online and there was also a continuation of that verse.

Jeremiah 29:12-13
Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.

This was an amazing promise not just to me but to all of us. Indeed God listened to me and I have found Him again. He is my first love. I have watched preaches of pastors on youtube and my favorite is Pastor Rick Warren. I could say that he is one of my mentor online only when I watched his videos and I also heard some of his daily hope sermons in his website. I also read the bible online almost everyday. I read the online bible with interpretations already in www.bible-studys.org. I'am searching now for a christian church to attend to just near my place.

God has filled the hole in my heart that this world cannot fill. God has changed me and also told me everything about why my relationship with my boyfriend failed. I also prayed for my boyfriend that he would come to know Jesus. After eight months we got back together as the Lord promised me. During those eight months the Lord has changed me and showed me the things that I have done wrong. God slowly healed me and cleansed me of my sins. He has also healed me of my Obsessive Compulsive Thoughts about religion. I would discuss that on my other article. God showed me of my selfishness, immorality, pride, unforgiving, idolatry and many others that destroyed my relationship with my boyfriend. God also showed me that I have love my boyfriend so much that he became my idol. Nothing and no one should take the first place of God in our lives.
Right now God wanted me to help my boyfriend to bring him back to the Lord and to be patient with him as I teach him. I'am helping him to seek the Lord, get to know Him better and have a close relationship with Him. This time things are different because the Lord is with us. I don't say I have a perfect relationship with my boyfriend because we are still two imperfect people. We are still a work in progress. This time I have to wait for God's perfect timing for our marriage and family life.

God has plans for all of us. We just have to trust Him, seek Him and His will in our lives. I was lost and now I'm found. All glory and praise to God!