Unwanted pregnancy

This is a very sensitive topic to a lot of people including myself. The question is should I continue with abortion or not? This is my testimony and I'am writing this in the spiritual perspective.
Unwanted or unplanned pregnancies can be very stressful and depressing on the part of the expectant mother and sometimes to the father as well. It could be frightening because both parties are not prepared maybe physically, emotionally and or financially. It can be more frustrating without the support of the unborn child's father and sometimes other family members or friends as well. Another case would be if the expectant mother is still studying college or high school and the father as well. Because of the pressure of not knowing what the future may hold for the baby, the family or for themselves most people would consider abortion. The fear and the pain could be unbearable and they thought that the solution was to terminate the pregnancy.

I have been in that situation and had also read some articles and reviews online if I should do it or not(abortion). Some says "no" while others said "yes". I'am shocked how other reviews online would say that they don't feel any guilt or remorse after what they have done. I don't want to judge them but in my experience it was extremely painful physically, emotionally and mentally. I did not took any medications for abortion but I had a difficult pregnancy. I just simply did not take my medications prescribe by the doctor. I think I did took only the medication for 2 days and then I just stopped. I was so fearful. My boyfriend can't find a stable job, he was still studying at that time and I'm afraid of our baby's future. I can't barely go to work because I feel tired all the time. I feel so hopeless. Some of my family members were not very supportive of the relationship as well. Although my boyfriend was very supportive and he really wanted the baby. I still feel so alone on all of this. I even prayed to God to just take my baby and give it to someone more deserving. Don't get me wrong I always wanted to have a baby but this time I'm just not prepared for it. We made a mistake. We had sex not thinking about the future of our child. We have sinned against God because we were not married. It's also immoral according to the bible.

I lost my baby at exactly three months. The dilatation and curettage was also very painful and I also had to go to labor pains. I suffered a lot of pain physically and emotionally and end up empty handed. Luckily my boyfriend was there all along although he cannot help me with the pain. It was all me who suffered a lot. After we buried the baby I was in a lot of pain emotionally and mentally. The guilt and the lost was too much for me. I grieved for my baby. I cried almost everyday for months. Sometimes I feel like the pain would never stop. It's not true of those reviews or articles that I read online about not feeling guilty or anything. The guilt and pain was just too much for me. I was so depressed.

After a few months my boyfriend left me and I fell deeper into depression. I cannot tell anyone about what I did. I was afraid that my boyfriend, family or friends would not understand and that they would judged me. All I wanted at that time was just to end my life. I kept thinking of ways to end my life to stop the pain and suffering. That's the time that I kept asking God to just take me already so I don't have to end my pathetic life. But God has other plans for me. He started showing me short clips of sermons of Pastors online. Until I started watching the whole sermon on youtube. Slowly the Lord changed me. At first I would not think of killing myself but at some days I would wanted to do so. It wasn't easy. The spiritual transformation of the Lord was gradual. It takes a lot time and patience. A lot of seeking the Word of God. He is so patient and loving with me and to all of us.

God took my guilt and nailed it on the cross. Only Jesus Christ can save me from the pain and guilt. I repented from my sins and don't ever want to do that again. I will share with you some of the verses in the bible that could help you to continue your pregnancy. I know it's not that easy. Also for some who had been raped and got pregnant. It's not your fault or baby's fault. Both of you are victims. Here are some verses in the bible that could strengthen you to go on with the pregnancy:

Jeremiah 1:5 (NIV)
"Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nation."

-This was God talking to Jeremiah. This is also true to all of us. God has plans for all of us. Even though our parent did not plan us. God has planned us and formed us in our mother's womb for a special purpose. Abortion would stop that purpose that God has planned for each of us.

Psalm 139:13 (NIV)
For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb.

Ephesians 2:10
For we are God's handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good work, which God prepared in advance for us to do.

-This is why abortion is wrong. God is all knowing. Even before we are born He has already known us and have great plans for us here on earth and for all eternity.

Exodus 20:12
You shall not murder.

Genesis 4:10
"And he said, What hast thou done? the voice of thy brother's blood crieth unto me from the ground."

- This is God talking to Cain after he murdered his own brother. "Thy brother's blood" is plural and may refer to "seeds" who have been cut off and will never be born. When someone murders or abort a human life it also means killing the  seeds or children of that the person might have in the future. It's not just one person but it could be a lot more.


For those who had an abortion there is still hope for you. No matter what you did you can still be saved. God is just waiting for you to come back to Him. He has given you each day as a chance to repent from your sins. When we repent we change the way we think to change the way we act. To think more and be more like Jesus because that is God's will for us.

1 John 1:19
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.

For those who are struggling financially. I know it may seem like there is no future for both of you and your baby but you were wrong. God is our provider. Have faith in Him and trust Him.

Philippians 4:19
And my God will supply all your needs according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus.

-It says there all your "needs" and not your "greed". God is moved when we trust Him and have faith in Him.

For those who are fearful about the pregnancy maybe the labor pains, not being ready to be a mother, not having enough money and many others. Don't let the enemy put fear in your heart. Instead put the words of God in your heart.

Isaiah 41:10
So do not fear, for I'am with you; do not be dismayed, for I'am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

For the expectant mothers and fathers I hope that both of you will raise your children knowing God and teaching them the ways of the Lord. Having a church family would also help your family and kids.

Ephesians 6:4
Fathers, don't stir up anger in your children, but bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.

Proverbs 22:6
Train up a child in the way he should go. Even when he is old he will not depart from it.

Having a family, a husband or wife and kids we become more selfless. We thin more of the welfare of our kids than our own. Having our own family is also a way of the Lord to teach us important lessons in life. Our relationship with our husband or wife and kids would sometimes teach us also to be more considerate, patient, selfless and forgiving. God has a purpose for our family. Because of our  family and our relationship with them we become more like His Son. And that is the will of God for us.

Jeremiah 29:11
For I know the plans I have for you", declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.



I want you to make the right decision and not to regret anything at the end. It's not yet too late. Hopefully this article would be a way for the Lord to save the lives of unborn children and expectant mothers.

To God be the glory!

Struggling with Idolatry

God expects us to love Him above all else and not to worship other God's before Him because He is a jealous God.

Matthew 22:37 (NIV)
Jesus replied, "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with your mind."

Exodus 20:3-5 (ESV)
"You shall have no other gods before me."
"You shall not make for yourself a carved image, or any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is on earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth. You shall not bow down to them or serve them, for I the Lord your God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children to the third and the fourth generation of those who hate me,

My story on idolatry:
I want to share to you my struggle with idolatry. I didn't know that I'am sinning idolatry but the Lord showed me gradually. I had loved  my ex boyfriend so much and I never realized that I had put my relationship with him before God. I was so broken and devastated when we got separated. I wanted to commit suicide but the Lord had helped me on the darkest days of my life. I was in a lot of pain and because of that I seek the Lord. I watched preaches on youtube, read articles online and read the bible. The one that helped me a lot was the preaches of Pastor Rick Warren and the articles on his website.
The Lord revealed to me that I have treasured and loved my ex boyfriend so much more than Him. As a result, I wanted to commit suicide when he left me. My ex could not fully satisfy me and I was so demanding and clingy of him. There's an empty space in my heart that he could not fill. I expected too much of him and at the end I was disappointed. God wanted us to love, treasure and prioritize Him for He alone fully satisfies. It was unfair for my ex boyfriend for me to demand so much of him for he is not God and he is only human. God made me realize that it was Him that I am missing all along. I tried to fill that emptiness in me that He alone can only fill.
I suggest read the article on idolatry by pastor John Desiring God website.

Obsessive compulsive Thoughts (Religion)

An overview of my OCD:

I have struggled with obsessive compulsive thoughts about religion and other intrusive thoughts since second year high school. It was very depressing and I had no one to talk to about this. I'am afraid that people would think that I'am crazy. I was reading the bible during that time and with no one to guide me I lost my way. My parents were not religious and I grew up in catholic family. My mom was working abroad and my dad care less.

At first I was like trying to be perfect. Of course I always wanted to follow Jesus ,but when I fall into sin I was afraid to be cut off and be punished or something. If something bad happens to me like if my teacher would scold at me or if I have bad grades I would feel guilty and thought that God is punishing me for my sins especially of my terrible OCD thoughts. I had this awful thoughts that comes into my mind that "I'am better than God" and many others. I know that is a lie but I just can't get it off my mind and it's like challenging God which is a terrible sin. For me there's no excuse for that. But then every time I tried to fight for it, the thoughts just keep on pressing on me. It just wont go away and I feel even more depressed about it. I also tried to ask God  about my OCD or if He is angry of the things that I do. To get the answers, I just opened my bible and pinpoint some verses and that also made my fear worst especially if I read some verses in the bible about sin and God's wrath and the like. I read the new testament, the book of Matthew and the Revelation which is of course I do not understand and that also stirs up my fear without anyone to help me and guide me. 

I have learned about my OCD on thoughts about religion when I was in my first year of College. I already have access to the internet. Before internet is just starting out in my country I guess. That was on the year 2004. I searched about my condition and I have also learned that there are other people like me. I tried some self help strategies online but nothing works for me. It will work for a while then it will come back again. 

I decided to just stop praying and believing that there is a God because I thought that that was the solution to my problem. Since I have OCD thoughts about religion that might stopped me from thinking of those awful thoughts. But then it just keep coming back and I still need to pray to God to make it stop. It also came to a point in my life that I blamed God for creating me this way and punishing me after I think of those thoughts. It all seems hopeless.

I made myself busy in my studies in College and somehow I didn't have time to think of those thoughts. But on occasion those horrible thoughts would haunt me again.

Turning point:

Only after 19 years that I have conquered my OCD thoughts. That is when I have known the Lord Jesus and have a relationship with Him. I was running away from God because I thought that was the solution. But then running towards God and knowing Him more is the only solution to my OCD. I have learned that He is loving, merciful, fogiving and that He wanted to help me. I have OCD because God wanted me to be closer to Him and to depend on Him. The Lord has taught me what to do and healed me. I could never do this on my own. 

What God has taught me?

I have watched preaches from Pastors online about how to manage my mind. I changed my religion I became a christian if that would help. It was not all easy. I also need to fight for my mind every time and even until today but only occasionally. The only difference now is that I have Jesus and the Father. The Holy Spirit is also there to guide me. I'am no longer alone in this battle. For the Lord fights for me. God is fighting for His children even today.

 I have also learned that there are 3 enemies of the mind which is:

 1. Old nature or our sinful nature

2. Satan 

3. The world's values.

If I wanted to defeat these enemies:

1. I must fill my mind with the words of God.

Matthew 4:4

People need more than bread for their life they must feed on every word of God.

2. Focus my mind on the right things.

2 Timothy 2:8

Keep your mind on Jesus Christ.

Philippians 4:8

Finally brother and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable -- if anything is excellent or praiseworthy -- think about such things.

3. Think about eternity.

Colossians 3:2

Let heaven fill your thoughts. Do not think only about things down here on earth.

4. Cry out to God.

Psalm 62:8

Trust in Him at all times, you people, pour out your hearts to Him, for God is our refuge.

5. Do not be afraid of your OCD and have faith that God will help you through this.

Isaiah 41:10

Fear not, for I'am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

6. Trust God that He will give you peace in your mind and in your life. Pray continuously.

John 14:27
Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.

Philippinas 4:6-7
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving. Let your request be made known to God. And the peace of God which surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.

7. Trust God that He is able to calm the OCD thoughts in you.
-Our God is able. Jesus is able to calm any storm in your life as well as your OCD thoughts. God is moved by our faith and not with our complaints.

Matthew 8:23-26
Then he got into the boat and his disciples followed him. Suddenly a furious storm came up on the lake, so that the waves swept over the boat. But Jesus was sleeping. The disciples went and woke him saying, "Lord, save us! We're going to drown!"
He replied, "You of little faith, why are you so afraid?" Then he got up and rebuked the winds and the waves, and it was completely calm.

Ephesians 3:20
God is able to do far more than we could ever ask for or imagine. He does everything by his power that is working within us.

8. Make a covenant or promise to God.

We should not make promises that we can't keep. But sometimes we are only human and not perfect so we broke our promises. There is still hope though when we ask God for forgiveness, repent and start all over again.
Another thing that I did is that I made a covenant with the Lord not to think negatively against Him. Whenever a thought would come I would remind myself of my promise and that I'am sincere in keeping it no matter what with the help of our Lord Jesus.

I hope that this article would help you and change your life. May the Lord Jesus heal you and help you as you depend on Him. God bless you!

My testimony: How I came to know Jesus

I read the bible when I was in junior high but there was no one to help me and guide me. I grew up in a catholic family. I was touched with what Jesus has done for all of us, that He died for our sins. But then because of my obsessive compulsive thoughts about religion, I got depressed. I was thinking awful thoughts and mostly about religion and Jesus Christ. I decided to stop seeking God and that it may not be good for me because I thought that God is punishing me because of my OCD.
When I was already working in a hospital, I fall in loved with my handsome coworker. To cut it short, I got pregnant when my boyfriend stopped working in the hospital. I was worried because he cannot help me with my finances and my family does not approved of him. I was so fearful and stressed all the time.We were not married during that time. The pregnancy was unplanned and to be honest I wished to have a miscarriage. I know it was wrong but there's just so much fear in me. I feared that I may not be able to reach my dreams and plans. I feared for our future because my boyfriend cannot find a descent job and he is just planning to study in college. I will discussed this on my other article. For two years we hid our relationship and sinned sexual immorality. I had a difficult pregnancy. At my 3 months of pregnancy I had a miscarriage. It was very painful emotionally and physically. After a few months my boyfriend and I got separated. I was devastated. I have loved him so much. That was the darkest days of my life. After everything that happened to us he decided to end our relationship because both of us were not happy. We fight almost all the time.

I was thinking suicidal thoughts. I searched the internet on how to kill myself. But then God has planted the seed in my heart to seek Him. I started to watch preaches online from christian churches. After watching I felt relieved from my troubles but after sometime the thoughts in my head grew stronger. I was afraid of what other people would say about me. I'am also depressed for losing my boyfriend. For me he is my husband and also my family because of everything that happened to us. One night I was crying hard and poured out my heart to the Lord. I talked to Him after a long time. Before I woke up next morning I had a dream. I dreamed of a bible verse that I had read a long time ago:

Jeremiah 29: 11
For I know the plans I have for you", declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

I heard this verse in my dream twice and when I woke up I also heard this verse so loud and clear in my ears and in my mind. I ignored it thinking it was just a dream or something. I continued with my day as usual. But then that verse came to me again when I was looking for something to buy online. There was a notebook with that verse and I was astonished. When I was watching on youtube, again that verse was spoken by one the person that I was watching. So I stopped for a while and realized that was God talking to me. Telling me not to waste my life and that He has greater plans. I cried for I forgot that God really cared for me and that He is interested in me. I searched for that verse online and there was also a continuation of that verse.

Jeremiah 29:12-13
Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.

This was an amazing promise not just to me but to all of us. Indeed God listened to me and I have found Him again. He is my first love. I have watched preaches of pastors on youtube and my favorite is Pastor Rick Warren. I could say that he is one of my mentor online only when I watched his videos and I also heard some of his daily hope sermons in his website. I also read the bible online almost everyday. I read the online bible with interpretations already in www.bible-studys.org. I'am searching now for a christian church to attend to just near my place.

God has filled the hole in my heart that this world cannot fill. God has changed me and also told me everything about why my relationship with my boyfriend failed. I also prayed for my boyfriend that he would come to know Jesus. After eight months we got back together as the Lord promised me. During those eight months the Lord has changed me and showed me the things that I have done wrong. God slowly healed me and cleansed me of my sins. He has also healed me of my Obsessive Compulsive Thoughts about religion. I would discuss that on my other article. God showed me of my selfishness, immorality, pride, unforgiving, idolatry and many others that destroyed my relationship with my boyfriend. God also showed me that I have love my boyfriend so much that he became my idol. Nothing and no one should take the first place of God in our lives.
Right now God wanted me to help my boyfriend to bring him back to the Lord and to be patient with him as I teach him. I'am helping him to seek the Lord, get to know Him better and have a close relationship with Him. This time things are different because the Lord is with us. I don't say I have a perfect relationship with my boyfriend because we are still two imperfect people. We are still a work in progress. This time I have to wait for God's perfect timing for our marriage and family life.

God has plans for all of us. We just have to trust Him, seek Him and His will in our lives. I was lost and now I'm found. All glory and praise to God!

Life Lesson: Pride

Pride is the root of all sin.
     
Psalm 10:4
In his pride the wicked man does not seek him; in all his thoughts there is no room for God.

Pride is a serious sin that we often neglect. Therefore, many people don't realize that they are prideful. Moreover, pride is the sin the got Satan kicked out of heaven. The opposite of pride is humility.

When do we know that there is pride in our hearts and lives?

- taking credit for what the Lord has done in our lives.
-unwilling to forgive others or ask for forgiveness.
- not giving God the glory that He deserves.
-giving advice but unwilling to ask or accept others advice.
- taking credit for others have done.
- thinking less of God and others and thinking more of ourselves.
- not surrendering to God's will and plans in our lives.
- wanting to take control.
- pleasing people and or ourselves and not God.
- thinking too much of what others think about us and not what God thinks about us.
- refusing to obey God.
- thinking that we are better than others.
- thinking that we are better than God.
- refusing to admit our own mistakes, faults and weaknesses.
- pretending to be someone that we are not.
- not listening to God.
- not listening to others suggestions, explanations etc.
- not able to accept constructive criticisms.
- thinking that we know better than God.

Why should we evict pride in our lives?

1. God is opposed to the proud.
Whenever we are prideful we are on the opposite side of God. We will not be able to receive God's grace if we are prideful.
     
James 4:6 (ESV)
But He gives more grace. Therefore it says, "God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble."

2. We don't need pride in our lives.
There is no need of pride in our lives for God will humble those who are prideful. So there's no need to be prideful because He will humble us anyway. If we want to be lifted up then we should choose humility.
   
Matthew 23:12 (NIV)
For those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.
   
1 Peter 5:6 (NIV)
Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that He may lift you up in due time.

Proverbs 16:5 (NIV)
The Lord detests all the proud of heart. Be sure of this: They will not go unpunished.
     
3. Pride destroys relationships.
Pride produces conflict and destroys our relationship with God and other people especially those who are closest to us. I have seen families, marriages and friendships that were destroyed because of pride.

 Proverbs 13:10 (NIV)
When there is strife, there is pride, but wisdom is found in those who take advice.

Proverbs 28:25 (NKJV)
He who is of a proud heart stirs up strife, But he who trusts in the Lord will be prospered.

4. Pride precedes to failure.
Some people fail in their relationships, lose their jobs and some other things in their lives leads to failure because they can't let go of their pride.

Proverbs 16:18 (NIV)
Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall.

5. Pride prevents spiritual growth.
Because of pride we are unable to admit and repent of our sins and thus prevents us from growing spiritually.
     
Proverbs 10:17 (CEV)
Accept correction and you will find life; reject correction , and you will miss the road.

 6. Even Jesus Christ humbled himself.
There's no reason for us to be prideful for even Jesus Christ, the Son of God humbled himself to us. He is our model of humility.

Philippians 2:3-7 (NIV)
Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interest of others. In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus: Who being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage: rather he made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness.

How do we evict pride in our hearts and lives?
     
1. Look up! Never forget where you came from! Never forget everything that we are and we have is a gift from God!

 I'am struggling with pride and I did not even noticed it. When God revealed this to me at first I was ignoring it. But God pressed it on me and I started to searched the internet about pride. I watched the preach of Pastor Rick Warren on youtube with the title: "When God tests you with success". I suggest that you should watch this too. I prayed for God's guidance. It was not easy for me to get rid of pride in my life. It was also hard to accept that I'am prideful and unwilling to accept Jesus Christ as the Lord in my life. I could say that aloud that I accept Jesus Christ as the Lord of my life and that my life in under new management and Jesus is the CEO of my life. But then God convicted me that in my heart it was the opposite of what I have said. God can see through me and knows me well. It was not on my heart to repent and change my ways and that is because of my pride. So I prayed to God to help me and I slept that night. The next morning as I woke up God made me remember a verse that I read in the bible before:
Genesis 18:27 (NIV)
Then Abraham spoke up again, "Now that I have been so bold as to speak to the Lord, though I'am nothing but dust and ashes, "

This verse brought another memory of the verse in the bible that I have read in Genesis 3:19c "From dust you are and to dust you will return."
From those verses that God revealed to me I cried with my heart as I accepted that I have sinned the sin of pride, repented of it and start praising God. I realized that I should always look back from the beginning or from where I came from.That humbles me and broke my sin of pride. It is no doubt true that God loves me. But the world does not revolved around me. It's not about me but it's all about God. God is still in control, all-powerful and all-knowing. We  should not forget who we are and who God is. I felt God's forgiveness, mercy and grace towards me. This does not mean that I don't sin anymore. We should always listen to the conviction and guidance of the Holy Spirit, humbly admit our mistakes to God and repent of our sins. If you ever forget or sin of pride again just remember the reason why we need to erase pride in our lives, the steps on how to evict pride and the bible verses in this article. Meditate on the verses and pray to God to help you. We cannot do this on our own. We need God's help to take out pride in our lives.

No matter what situation we face if we experience success, failure, pain or disappointment we replace pride with praise. As Job praised God:
   
Job 1:21
and said, "Naked I came from my mother's womb, and naked I will depart. The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away, may the name of the Lord be praised."

Remember that God gave you everything that you have, your talents, skills, abilities and all the things you have and the people around you here on earth. We came here naked as Job said and naked we will depart. We should be grateful of everything that He has done for us and give Him all the credit and glory that He deserves. This also humbles us. We must remember and be grateful of the sacrifices that the Lord Jesus has done for us. For dying on the cross for our sins and for God the Father for giving up His son for our salvation. We see that we depend on God for everything in our lives.

2 Thessalonians 1:2
Our God gives you everything you need, makes you everything you're to be.

2. Look around! Never forget other people!
       
Humility is not thinking less of yourself but thinking of yourself less.              -Pastor Rick Warren.
         
When we are busy thinking of others we don't have time to think about ourselves. Serving others makes us humble and humility is the antidote of pride. If we want to get rid of pride we think of ourselves less and more of others.

Philippians 2:3-4 (NIV)
Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interest of others.

What is the good pride?
Based on a pride for others who are living in obedience to God.

2 Chronicles 17:6 (NASB)
He took great pride in the ways of the LORD and again removed the high places and the Asherim of Judah.


My prayer for you:          
*I pray that the Lord would help all of us in our struggle with pride. That the Holy Spirit may guide us and convict our hearts every time we slip into the sin of pride. That the Lord would give us wisdom and reveal to us the sin of pride in our lives. May the Lord remind us of where we came from, that we came from dust and that He gave us life, the sacrifice of the Lord Jesus in the Calvary and everything that we have is from the Lord. Today choose to humble ourselves under the mighty hand of God. 
In Jesus Name we pray. Amen.